Hi all! I've been lurking on SD for a while and am finally getting the courage to post. I'm on day 4 of sobriety. I had previously made it 17 days but had a relapse during a happy hour that I had planned before I realized that I was an alcoholic and that I wanted to quit drinking.
I'm not sure how to articulate what's going on in my head. I have almost no support from my friends. I do have support from my family. But I hear things like: - everyone in their 20s drinks to excess - I'm sure some day you'll be able to moderate it again - I had to stop drinking for my medication and I thought I'd miss it but I don't.
It just is frustrating to have to try and explain to non-addicts that there voice in my head is different from theirs. I used to call that voice in my head the "party monster". Once she had a drink, it was all over. Now I know it's a monster for sure, but not a party one. She's an addict.
To top it off, I'm in a situation where I'll be in a bar for the next 6 weeks. I paid for an activity and have a group of people relying on me. I can't bail. So I guess I'm just asking for support. I'm done drinking. I don't want to drink tonight at the bar but focus on the activity and fun. So I'm committing to you all here.
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